5 steps on how to start healing your anxiety
Anxiety is something many of us experience at one point or another, but it can be hard to deal with and hard to understand if you’ve never felt it before. It can sneak up on you, often leaving you overwhelmed and unsure of what’s happening in your body or mind.
For some, it might feel like an unexplained tension in the chest, racing thoughts, or an overwhelming sense of dread. But what exactly is anxiety? And why does it affect us so deeply? In this post, we’ll dive into understanding anxiety, explore how it manifests in both our minds and bodies, and look at practical ways to heal it.
What is anxiety?
A few weeks ago, I talked with a 42-year-old man, who told me that he only had learned recently what anxiety was. All his friends told him how anxious they felt, while he kept wondering what anxiety was. I was not able to believe what he was saying. But upon reflection, I realized that it wasn’t about him not experiencing anxiety — it was about him not knowing what to call it. Everyone experiences anxiety at some point, but not everyone has the language to recognize it.
So, how would I explain anxiety to someone unfamiliar with it? I find it helpful to think of it this way:
Anxiety = worry in your mind + the stress it causes in your body.
This simple equation captures how anxiety is both a mental and physical experience. It’s not just about having worried thoughts; it’s also about the way those thoughts manifest physically, creating tension, discomfort, and a sense of being overwhelmed.
Anxiety activates the body’s fight-or-flight response, which can include symptoms like rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, muscle tension, and sweating.
To heal your anxiety, you need to understand what you need
For many years, I tried to push my anxiety away. I’d do everything I could to distract myself, to block the uncomfortable feelings. I thought that if I just ignored it long enough, it would go away on its own. But the more I ignored it, the worse it became. It felt like a mountain I was trying to avoid, but the longer I waited, the higher that mountain grew.
Eventually, I had a realization: ignoring my anxiety wasn’t helping me. It was actually making it worse. About a year and a half ago, I decided I would stop running from it. I made the conscious choice to face it head-on. Instead of distracting myself or pushing it down, I sat with the discomfort. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to feel all of it — the worry, the tension, the unease in my body.
In those moments, it felt overwhelming, but I knew I had to go through it, not around it. I could feel the tension in my chest, the tightness in my stomach, the thoughts spiraling in my head. But the more I sat with it, the more I began to understand that it wasn’t something to fear. It was a signal. A signal that I needed to pay attention to something deep within myself.
The turning point: understanding my needs
As I continued to face my anxiety instead of avoiding it, something started to shift. I began asking myself the question: What do I need right now? I had been so used to running from anxiety that I had forgotten to check in with myself, to understand what the root cause was.
I realized that a huge part of my anxiety stemmed from not feeling safe — either emotionally or physically. My inner voice, began to speak louder during these moments. She told me, you need to feel safe.
At first, it was hard to grasp this. How could something as simple as safety address the deep anxiety I was feeling? But as I explored it more, I came to understand that at the core of my anxiety, there was a deep need to feel grounded, secure, and protected. And no one could give that to me but myself.
Now, I know that the key to healing anxiety isn’t about escaping it. It’s about facing it, understanding it, and meeting the needs that are underlying it. I’ve learned that the more I nurture my sense of inner safety, the less power anxiety has over me.
4 steps to start healing your anxiety
I want to share the steps I took to begin healing my anxiety. These steps are simple but powerful, and they can help you on your journey as well.
1. Face it
Whenever you start experiencing your anxiety, stop pushing away what you feel. Be with it, sit with it. Find a space where you can be alone and face it. Allow it all to come out, and do not get too attached to it.
2. Focus on your breathing
Focus on your breathing. Take deep inhales and exhales. That is the way to find calmness in your body, mind, and spirit. And the way to balance the spinning thoughts and tense body so that you can hear your inner self clearer.
3. Ask for help
When things get overwhelming, ask for guidance. You can turn to whatever you believe in — your higher self, the Universe, or simply your inner wisdom. You are not alone in this, and help is always available when you ask.
4. Understand your needs & nurture yourself
Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” Be open to whatever comes up, whether it’s peace, safety, love, or reassurance. Once you identify your need, give it to yourself. I often remind myself: I am safe or you can address the wounded child self of yours by saying: you are safe.
Keep on talking to yourself like an adult would talk to a little child. Hug yourself if needed.
Little by little, you start to feel better.
Heal with me for a sec.
Just when I stopped writing the fifth point, this tiny, tiny white feather dropped on my laptop. It is a clear sign that the Angels and my Spirit Guides are here when I am writing this to you. They want you to know that you are loved and always guided. They are here to help you heal your anxiety. Because my dear, it is possible.
Essi Koski-Lammi
Essi Koski-Lammi is a Conscious Interior Designer, Inner Alignment Healer, and Spiritual Business Advisor. She believes that how we live, work, and care for ourselves is deeply influenced by the connection between the spaces within and around us. With a diploma in interior design, over 22 years of experience in energy healing and meditation, MSC in Business and a strong background in global branding and marketing, Essi combines her expertise to empower women to transform their homes, businesses, and lives — and most importantly, themselves — so that every part of life feels aligned and truly their own.
