From victim mindset to being a creator
When you think about different aspects of your life – who is in charge?
To whom are you giving your power?
I hope you would say that you are – but when you look deeper, that might not be the reality. Your victim mindset might be causing you to feel powerless rather than powerful.
The victim is a survival archetype that everyone carries within. And like with all archetypes, there is a shadow and the light side of the victim.
How the victim mindset manifests in your life
The shadow of the victim mindset manifests as you not taking responsibility for your life – feeling powerless and helpless. It feels like you have given away your power to something or someone. You rely too much on different types of authorities. You consciously or unconsciously want them to decide, on behalf of you, what you and your life look like.
This victim shadow also looks like you cannot change or transform. You feel that everything happens to you, and you cannot do anything but feel suffering and pain.
The victim repeats the words such as “I cannot do that” when in most cases it is not about you being unable to do it.
If you instead would say, “I won’t do that,” you would be taking your power back.
Do you see the energetic difference between those two sentences?
The truth is that people like to play to be the victims because of the attention they get. This attention nurtures the unmet needs that they should first nurture within themselves.
Do you recognize the victim mindset?
Let’s do a small exercise. Think about the following points and WHO or WHAT has the power over them in your life. Look within yourself to see if you are blaming someone. Or to whom you are giving the lead role when things are not working out. Be honest with yourself!
– Your health and wellbeing – e.g., illness, coach, not enough time
– Your career or your company – e.g., your manager deciding about your career, not enough jobs, your clients not wanting to buy
– Your money situation – e.g., bad economy, not enough clients, the company where you work not giving good benefits
– Your relationships – e.g., your partner, best friend, or family
– Your happiness – e.g., your partner, your job, loneliness
– Your dreams – e.g., fear, economy, knowhow
I think you know the answer, who it should be.
It should be you.
You should be the creator
You decide. You lead. Sure, we need to listen to authorities – but the difference is that you know your power is within you. You master your life. You co-create with the Universe. No one can diminish your inner fire.
When you take your power back, when your inner fire is burning, you set boundaries, and your self-esteem shines the brightest light.
Heal with me for a sec.
Find that victim mindset within you and look at how the shadow is taking over your life.
Bring the victim from the shadows to light by recognizing and accepting it. Then ask yourself: do I want to be powerless or powerful? Then focus on taking your power back and being the creator.
Essi Koski-Lammi
Essi Koski-Lammi is a Conscious Interior Designer, Inner Alignment Healer, and Spiritual Business Advisor. She believes that how we live, work, and care for ourselves is deeply influenced by the connection between the spaces within and around us. With a diploma in interior design, over 22 years of experience in energy healing and meditation, MSC in Business and a strong background in global branding and marketing, Essi combines her expertise to empower women to transform their homes, businesses, and lives — and most importantly, themselves — so that every part of life feels aligned and truly their own.
